Evil People Really Need To Take Better Care Of Their Stuff

Because this is what I found today.

EVIL MAG

Some poor evil…being…must have dropped it. It stinks for them, but t’s really quite good for me because it’s actually really interesting  It’s like ‘People’ for evil people. It’s the underworld’s gossip magazine.

Gollum’s new movie sounds interesting. I’d go watch it, but the closest location it’ll be shown is at Malfoy Manor, I think, and I really am not going to go all the way to England to watch one movie.

It was also really interesting that they mentioned the GSA. I don’t think they did a very good job describing it though. Look:

The GSA, also known as the Good-Sinful Alliance, is a cooperation started by one blogger who wanted to foster good-evil connections. We’re not entirely sure if it’s working or not, because we’ve been asking around for information and nobody’s responding.

Actually, Severus Snape, a confirmed member, threatened to hex us to the moon and back if we ‘asked him one more dumb question about the GSA’. 

We’ve only gotten one person to sit down with us and discuss their experience with the GSA, whose identity we’re trying to protect. We’re using her real name, because everybody  will think it’s fake, so they won’t actually go looking for her–ANYWAY: Her name is Aunty Sponge. 

Evil Magazine: Hello, how are you? We’d like to talk to you about your experiences with the Good-Sinful Alliance. 

Aunty Sponge: Okay. 

EM: So I’ve heard you attended the GSA’s annual conference a few months ago. How was it?

Sponge: Good. These cookies are fantastic. 

EM: Um, thanks. I also heard the Miraz answered your advice question at the conference. Were you glad your question was answered?

Sponge: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NEVERRRRRRRRRR!

Unfortuntaly, Aunty Sponge had a total mental breakdown and was unable to complete the interview. Also, she was sent to a psychiatric hospital.

Um. Well. They really could use some writing skills. It’s hard to read. It’s like they just recorded it and stuck it on paper. Well, actually, they probably did.

I also learned a lot. Apparently, Rosaline is the name of the witch in Hansel and Gretel, and she became a millionaire after she sold her life story to the Grimm Brothers. She’s also a witch, which is how she survived the fire that Gretel threw her into. Apparently a basic Flame-Freezing charm did the trick.

Bellatrix’s article is quite interesting as well. She’s a very dramatic person. Apparently, she got a divorce to her husband Rodolphus Lestrange. And then ran off with his brother Rabastan. Or maybe it was the other way around. I can’t tell the two apart. It has the Wizarding World in quite an uproar, the magazine said.

It said on the cover that it was my trial issue. The people at Evil Magazine seem to be harboring under the delusion that I’m evil. Well, sometimes I am, but I’m not really evil like Sauron or Voldemort or the White Witch or anyone.

I signed up to get it anyways. Told them to take the gold from my Gringotts vault. I picked a random number  for my vault. I just hope it’s the Malfoys….

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Why Did You Have To Die?

I’ve read a lot of books. I’ve read the words that make characters die. (That sounds awkward….) But really, I didn’t want them to die and I was always really depressed when that happened. So here’s a list of why I didn’t want them to die.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!

voldemort

You-Know-Who (Aka Voldemort)

Okay, this is an odd one to have first, but I was kind of sad when he died, because I knew it meant the end of the books and the movies. I wouldn’t have wanted him to keep living, though. He’s had too much world-domination already and he’d just be more bad news for the world. Although, I did like Ralph Fiennes playing him. That man is really scary. And he was a pretty good villain, as far as villains go.

rue

Rue (the district 11 tribute)

I liked Rue, and since she was really young, it just made the Capitol’s Hunger Games seem so unjust and unfair. I cried when I went to see the movie and she died. (Don’t look at me funny, it was a really sad scene.)

(The one with the red hair is Alcie.)

Alcie from the Pandora Gets… series.

A lot of you don’t know about this series, but it’s a good book series about Greek myths.  The only reason I was sad Alcie died is because she wasn’t even supposed to, and because I liked her the best. Plus, she was cool. I was happy when they sent her back from the underworld, seeing as she wasn’t supposed to be dead and all that.

prim

Prim (from the Hunger Games)

This is just brutal. This was at the very end of Mockingjay, so after Finnick, Boggs, and the other people died, your heart was already crushed. Now your heart is shattered into a million pieces. Depressing….

Padfoot (Aka Sirius from Harry Potter)

This is Harry’s only family, and then he gets killed. And he was so cool too!

Finnick Odair (Hunger Games)

There aren’t any good pictures of Finnick yet, so he doesn’t get a picture, unfortunately. According to the book, he has bronze hair and sea-green eyes. I was sad when he died, because I liked him just as much as Peeta.

dobby

Dobby (Harry Potter)

House-elf who saves Harry & Co. Then gets killed. Sad.

snape

Severus Snape (Harry Potter)

Not going to say anything. This is just the saddest thing!

I think I need to stop now. After all, I could go on and on. Plus, this post is kind of sad.

Any comments?