Please, Help Make The World A Better Place.

In order to make the world a better place, please follow these rules. Your cooperation is appreciated.

  1. All of those commercials that, essentially, say, BUY THIS PRODUCT! are hereby outlawed. Anyone watching these commercials will be forced to watch one hour non-stop of the commercial. Anyone who buys something from these “TV retailers” will be forced to use the product for the rest of their life. Anyone selling a product will be sent to the TV Jail, where commercials like these are aired 24/7 and inmates are forced to watch them.
  2. Anyone on their cell phone while getting something from a service counter will be escorted from the premises.
  3. Commercials longer than a minute are banned.
  4. You can never have enough books and stuffed animals.
  5. Secondhand shops are only permitted to sell dresses, pants, shoes, and shirts.
  6. Anything that says “Now connect piece 20A to the tube near HXB5” are outlawed.
  7. Any copier that is jammed will shut itself down until it is fixed. It will also never mess up your printing. Anyone found messing with copiers will be found by the photocopier police and made to drink a cup of toner. (This hint was taken from I’m A Stranger Here Myself, by Bill Bryson.)
  8. Newscasters are now required to report at least 8 GOOD things that have happened, as well as the never-ending list of bad things.
  9. It is not allowed for the temperature to get over 110 degrees Farenheit. However, it can get as cold as -70 degrees.
  10. Everyone must have a pet.
  11. Mosquitos and ticks and horseflies are outlawed. Anyone who finds one of these creatures should put it in a plastic bag and take it to The Bug Center to have pros examine it.
  12. Radios are now easier to work. If your radio is hard to work, bring it to the seller and demand a full refund.
  13. Once a year, there is a parade in town with a one-man circus on a firetruck.
  14. Cash registers, when given the amount of cash the person has tendered, will automatically use its robot hand to pick out the correct change.
  15. All malls are now required to have paper maps people can take.
  16. There will be a person who knows the answers to the mysteries of life.
  17. Retailers will sell Packers merchandise all year in Minnesota.

Your cooperation has been appreciated. Please continue watching for Please, Help Make The World Better 2.

What I Spend Money On

I couldn’t find anything to write about today, so I Googled “what should i write about on my blog” Which considerably helped, and I found a list of 100 Blog Post Titles(or something of that nature) on And this was one title that caught my eye and I said to myself, “Cool” . So. What do I spend money on. I get puppets and Pillow Pets. Even though those are technically for kids not in my age range, they’re amazingly soft and cuddly. Yes, I’m a dork when it comes to anything soft and fuzzy.

This is the most recent puppet I bought, a bunny puppet. I’m also a bunny freak, in case I didn’t mention that yet.

I have the pee-wee dolphin and the regular bumblebee Pillow Pets, in case you were wondering.

I also spend money on gum. However, since I’ll only eat Trident Original and React 5/Solstice and the minty UP2U, I don’t usually have that much. Plus, React and UP2U are thirty more cents than Trident, so that also adds. Funny Story–My birthday’s coming up soon, and my mom bought me a pack of gum that she was going to put on top of my birthday present. But she forgot to hide it, so I got my present about a month early. Which was totally great, especially since I didn’t have any more of that kind. OKay. Too much talking.

And going off that, when I get started, I just can’t stop. I often stop in the middle when I’m talking and say, “Am I talking your ear off?” My victim will either say, “Yes,” “You’re getting there,” or maybe just nod their head. Oops.I’m like that today, as you may be able to tell, because I’ve totally gotten away from the real topic and now I’m sitting here writing about talking. Ha. Funny.

Another thing that I don’t spend much money on but would like to if I had that sort of money is shoes. Shoes are amazing, anyone who says otherwise is required to eat a shoe. I looooove shoes! Typical, you may think. Yes, it is very typical, especially among teenaged girls. Another funny story-Last night I put on my lovely, comfortable, ratty old flip flops, an my mom told me, “Put on some real shoes.” So I said, “Oh, right, I forgot! I’m wearing my imaginary shoes!” Me and my dad just CRACKED UP. My sister and my mom just looked at us like we were aliens or something. It was funny, I tell you.

The last thing I’ll tell you about it pens. It’s the last thing because I have a pretty long post already and it’ll just get longer from here. I really like pens. Because we wear uniforms (UGH!) at our school, school supplies are a sort of status symbol. Plus, have you seen the pens they make nowadays? They’re pretty awesome, if I do say so myself. I have a whole memory box filled with markers, pens, pencil, and other drawing tools. Oh, and a Ring Pop. It’s been in there for a while, and it’s probably getting old so I should most likely eat it soon.

OKay. My mom is kicking me off the computer and this is quite a long post compared to my usual standards, so I best be going. Let’s discuss this post in the comments. I’m sure you have something to say.

P.S. More awesomely awesome posts like these coming soon! (Wait. It was a good post, wasn’t it?)