Genre Challenge (for TCWT)

John Hansen | November 27, 2011 at 12:46 pm

I challenge you to write a humor story set in modern day London!

so, here goes. And, I don’t live in London, or anywhere near (U.S.) so this may not be correct! Let me know if it’s not so I can change it. 🙂

Once upon a time (well not technically once upon a time because it’s set in MODERN day London haha)

There was a pony named bob and a fish named squiggle. One day they went to Piccadilly Circus.

“I want to buy an iPhone” said Bob.

“Ok” said Squiggle.

But after looking all day they had found no iPhones.

“I’m hungry.” said Squiggle.

“Ok” said Bob.

So they bought some fish and chips.

“How can I eat this?!?!?!?!” said Squiggle. “I’m a fish! That would be like cannibalism. Only fish-style.”

“Oops, sorry,” said Bob.

So instead Bob kidnapped a hot dog person and refused to let him go until he gave Squiggle some hot dogs.

“Hey, this is pretty good!” said Squiggle. “Where’d ya get it? It tastes a lot better than my fish food.”

However Bob was rather reluctant to admit how he had gotten it.

“OH, MY, GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”Squiggle suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs. (Which wasn’t actually that loud.)

“IT’S SANTA CLAUS!!!!!!!!!!” screamed a random person.

There was a stampede. In the stampede Squiggle was stampeded to death.

“Where’s Bob the pony?” demanded Santa.

“OOH, OOH!!!! I’M RIGHT HERE SANTA!!!” screamed Bob. “I want an iPhone and a butterfly and a laptop and a HDTV and a recliner for (insert the holiday you celebrate here)!!!

“I don’t care,” said Santa, “I’m here to kidnap you.” And Santa kidnapped Bob.

“But what about my butterfly????” asked Bob.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

They landed in China.

“Where in the world are we?!?!?!?” asked Bob.

“Oh, we’re in China.” said Santa cheerily.

“OHMYGOSHWHATISTHATTHING??!?!?!?!?” yelled Bob.

As the thing came nearer Bob and Santa could see that it was an army, rushing full speed at them.

“What are they?” asked Santa.

“I think….”replied Bob, “I think they’re Cinnamon toast crunch Cereal!”

“How do we escape?” asked Santa.

“Start eating!” was Bob’s answer.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“OHHHHHH” said Bob.

“I’m SO FULL” said Santa.

“I’m a butterfly” said Bob.

“WHAT?!?!!” said Santa.

“Well, just look at me!” said Bob. “I’m a real, live butterfly!”

All Santa could manage was a WOWZA!.

“Hey, what’s that thing by your ear?” asked Santa.

“Huh—-what?” said Bob, swiveling his head.

I am Sqiuggle, I am here to haunt you for the rest of your days.

Bob’s jaw dropped.

Come with me, to the land of music

So Bob and Santa followed Squiggle, the ghost to the land of music.

It was actually pretty nice there.

Except for one thing……..can you guess what it was?


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Winter project????

My dog, Toffy

He’s so cute, I know. =)

So, my Mom has told me that this winter I am supposed to make a list of my Toffy’s vocabulary. So, I’ll do it. So, what do I know he knows already? Hmmmmmm………

  • Mommy
  • Daddy
  • Supper
  • Breakfast
  • Truck
  • Charlie (my uncle’s very senior dog)
  • Grammy (grandma)
  • Grampy (grandpa)
  • ball
  • rope
  • go outside
  • GRRRRRR
  • come
  • sit
  • wait
  • go in your bed
  • bed
  • lay down
  • that’s the girls (mainly used when me and my sister, A, are noisy :))
  • pretty boy (Such a vain dog we have…)
  • bath
  • Annika
  • upstairs
  • NO!!!!!
  • good boy
  • uh-uh
  • Do you want a treat?
  • Do you want to go to the cottage?
  • Go see Jo? (our dog trainer)
  • Go see Freckles?
  • Go see Nicki? (The neighbor’s very NEW dog, who Toffy is friends with, Awwwwwww. We’re still working on this one.)
  • go!
  • go get your_________

I think he knows more but that’s all I can remember right now.

Bored No More

Hi, bored people. You see I am bored a lot too and so I need things to do when I am bored. So I thought, Well, why not share it????? So here it is!

  1. Dress an inanimate object up and take pictures!
  2. Find a bug that does NOT fly (ex. ant) and make it an obstacle course! Then time it. This is also fun if you get more than one bug and have a race. Note, you may want different types of bugs so you can tell them apart =)
  3. Pick one thing and a room, lock your self in a room and see how long it takes you to go insane.
  4. Pick an animal and walk/slither/??? around for as long as you can do it. Bonus points if you give yourself a tail!
  5. Pretend you’re blind, you might want to have someone near you so you don’t fall down the stairs or anything
  6. Make a personality quiz. Then pick random celebrities and make up fake answers to the test. (If you do this, I want to see it!!!!)
  7. Learn to yodel
  8. Imitate someone you see often and see how long it takes them to realize that you’re impersonating them.
  9. Rename all the people in your family with weird names
  10. Find a squishy food. Go into the bathroom, and get in the bathtub. Then jump on the squishy food.
  11. Google weird poses and try to imitate them.
  12. Kill some flies and glue them onto a sheet of paper, or whatever you have handy. Then illustrate!
  13. Make up your own language. Then use it. (You may want to write a key)
  14. Rearrange something.
  15. Make a belly button cleaner!!! Stick a pipe cleaner in a straw, with some pipe cleaner still out. Insert. Clean.
  16. Make a pyramid. Of whatever you have lying around and need to get rid of.
  17. Type something with your toes. Then see if an unlucky victim can read it.
  18. Give yourself a tail. Then see what your dog does to it.
  19. Play the imagining game. Sit somewhere where there are a lot of people and imagine what they are doing.
  20. Don’t speak. At all. Or, have a sign that says, “I can only speak this word,________” and only say that word.
  21. Be a hairdresser. Put some dirt in a cup, then some grass seed. Wait for it to grow. When you feel that it is long enough then give it a haircut. Remember that grass never stops growing(unless it dies) so you can give it another even worse haircut next week!
  22. Create a cardboard city.
  23. Baking soda volcano. Especially fun if you make a really amazing volcano.
  24. Google yourself. Then, enjoy finding out about people who share your name but none of your personal information!
  25. Find out what type your blood is.
  26. Make a Jello creation
  27. Dress up stuffed animals and display them prominently in your house
  28. Watch a T.V. show and make a list of why the T.V. show is so awful. Then present the list to a friend you know likes that show.
  29. Make up a weird fun fact about someone. Then inform them of that fact. Interesting reactions!
  30. Peel a carrot until it is totally gone (I personally have always wanted to do this)
  31. Youtube werewolf circus (These are HILARIOUS! I guarantee it!)

Random stuff

Yippee!!!!! Today is my church’s craft fair!!!!!

Wow. That was WEIRD. I wrote Yipppppeeeeeee!!!!!!!!! and the spell checker underlined it, ya know? And one of the suggestions it came up with was speech writer. Weird.

How many of you are Dancing with the Stars fans?????????? The remote is sitting next to me and I am tempted to watch the one I missed.

My dad’s friend is here! he says hi

I adopted a penguin!!! His name is turnip and he has 2 dreams: to fly and to be a rock star. I made the latter come true. He sang in front of all my other stuffed animals.

Who needs something fun to do with their dog???? I have something, take a paper compost bag and cut off the top. Then stick it on your head, you may have to hold it on, and make angry noises at your dog. This is very entertaining!!!!! I took a video of this while my mom and dad were doing this, it is hysterical and even more so because my laughing is SOOO weird I laugh every time. Worth a try, definitely.