Short Story—Octopus And Lunch

I was randomly inspired to write this short story, which is a very grim, very short story.

Once upon a time, there was a little octopus, whose name was Bob.

Bob was a happy octopus.

One day, Bob went to school.

There was a big fish standing there looking sad, so Bob went over to say “Hello”

“Hi,” mumbled the fish in return.

Bob pressed on. “Why are you so sad?”

“It’s, it’s” said the fish, “It’s cause of I don’t have a lunch.”

“Oh, that’s too bad,” Bob said, feeling sorry for the big fish.

Suddenly, the fish’s face lit up.

“What? What?” wondered Bob, trying to imagine what the fish had thought of.

“You can be my lunch!” the fish said, standing up and moving towards Bob.

“Oh, no!” cried Bob, his face rapidly turning to horror. “Not me! You—You wouldn’t want to eat me!”

But the big fish scooped up Bob, who was heavily protesting this, and popped him in his mouth.

“Mmmm. Good combination,” sighed the fish. “Nice and crunchy.”

He licked his lips and swam off to find another unfortunate victim.

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Craziness Plus Google Images

Today I’m not feeling all that creative, so I’ve started a new series:

___________Plus Google Images

Which is funny images from guess where: Google Images. (Gosh, I love that search engine.)

This is what happened when I wrote “crazy quotes” in the search bar.

So, there you go. I think another post with a wordcount over 50 will be coming before soon, and, I guess I’ll just post these whenever I need a laugh.

Harry Potter With Some Modifications

This post is for the TCWT August Blog chain. So I had a hard time picking the story. Mainly, it was between Harry Potter and Cinderella, and HP ended up with the top spot. So, here you are. Like it, hate it, or love it. (Although I’d prefer it if you love it.)

Porry Hatter and The Tuba Of Death

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Porry Hatter who lived at 1,987,372,586 Private Drive with his uncle, Uncle Onvern, his aunt, Aunt Petal, and his cousin Dud.

They were a perfectly normal family except fro a couple of things. First, Uncle Onvern, Aunt Petal, and Dud weren’t Porry’s actual family. They were just some random people who had taken Harry in when he arrived at their doorstep in a magnificent top hat, with a note saying, Please take care of Porry. He is a very nice little boy and will never cause you any harm. So the residents of 1,987,372,586 Private Drive took Harry in.

The second thing about them was that Porry was not a good little boy at all. He was the only naughty one among them, because Uncle Overn was gone half the time, selling thermometers in Peru or wherever. And Aunt Petal had to take Dud everywhere, because Dud was a famous tie supermodel, and he had a photo shoot nearly every day. So the result was that Porry got awfully bored, so he got into a lot of trouble! His favorite prank was taping the neighbor’s cat to a firecracker. But enough of that.

The third thing was Porry’s parents had been murdered by the Tuba of Death! Most people were awfully scared of the Tuba of Death, and only called it the You-Know-What. It was evil!!! Right now, it was in the Philadelphia Phil-harmonic Orchestra.

The two last things were the most important. First, Porry wanted revenge on The Tuba of Death for murdering his parents, so he became the best karate dude in the whole, entire, world. (That’s the second thing.)

So one day, Porry was walking along Private Drive, looking for trouble that needed causing, when he suddenly ran into someone, causing him to fall flat on his butt. Porry looked up, and the person he had run into looked like he was a million years old, he had a goatee, and really long hair that seemed to be floating off the ground. Oh, and he was wearing a three piece suit.

“Who are YOU?” asked Porry, stunned.

The old man laughed before replying, “Oh, I’m Bubbledore. I am the conductor of the Philadelphia Phil-harmonic Orchestra, and you are Porry Hatter. It’s nice to finally meet you at last.” Bubbledore held out his hand to Porry, who reluctantly took it.

There was a sudden buzz, in which Bubbledore jumped nearly up onto the roof, and Porry fell back, Howling with laughter. “Hand…..buzzer……always….works..” he choked out.

Bubbledore regained his composure and said, “So, Porry, I need you to come back to the Orchestra with me.”

“Me?” Porry stopped laughing, taken aback. “No way, Bubbledore! I have enough mischief to cause here.”

“Oh” sighed Bubbledore. “I didn’t want to take you by force, but I have not choice.” He whipped out a bag, and cracked his right knuckle. Porry magically flew into the bag, and the next thing he knew, he was being unceremoniously dumped onto a shiny new wood floor. He looked up, and there it was- The Tuba of Death.

Porry’s eyes narrowed. He quicky pulled out his karate black belt and crouched, ready to spring. The tuba did nothing. Porry crept quickly to the tuba. The tuba sprang into life. Out of nowhere, it grew legs and arms. It snatched Porry’s black belt, and Porry yelled “Hey! You thief! Give it back!” Bubbledore cried, “Wait! Porry Hatter!” but to no avail.

Porry ran after The Tuba of Death, which swerved this way and that. Porry ran on and on, but even karate masters’s don’t have as much energy as a Tuba Of Death does, so eventually he dropped into a street corner, and fell asleep.

He woke up to see two flutes with arms and legs standing over him. “Shall we take him?” asked the first. “Oh, yes. He looks like a lovely meal for the Master.” The flutes grinned evilly, and then Porry lost consiousness.

To Be Continued………………..

Oh, and you should read these rewritten stories, too. They’re all endorsed by Porry Hatter.

Participating Parties In Order

Want to follow our blog chain? Here are the participating parties, day by day

August 4 – http://musingsfromnevillesnavel.wordpress.com – Musings From Neville’s Navel

August 5 – http://crazyredpen.blogspot.com/ – Crazy Red Pen

August 6 – http://lilyjenness.blogspot.com – Lily’s Notes in the Margins

August 7 –http://oliviasopinions.wordpress.com/– Olivia’s Opinions

August 8 http://snippetsandslicesandscenes.blogspot.ca/Snippets, Slices, and Scenes

August 9 http://markobrienwrites.blogspot.com – Mark O’Brien Writes

August 10 – http://onelifeglory.blogspot.ca/ – One Life Glory

August 11 – http://www.astoryofadreamer.blogspot.com/ – A Story of a Dreamer

August 12 – https://weirdalocity.wordpress.com/ – Life, Among Other Things

August 13 – http://maybeteenauthor.blogspot.com – Blog of a (Maybe) Teen Author

August 14 http://theteenagewriter.wordpress.com/ The Teenage Writer

August 15 –http://scribblingbeyondthemargins.wordpress.com – Scribbling Beyond the Margins

August 16 – http://otherrandomthings.wordpress.com – Dragons, Unicorns, and Other Random Things

August 17 – http://kirstenwrites.wordpress.com/ – Kirsten Writes!

August 18 – http://laughablog.wordpress.com –The Zebra Clan

August 19 – http://miriamjoywrites.wordpress.com – Miriam Joy Writes

August 20– http://allegradavis.wordpress.com – All I Need Is A Keyboard

August 21 –http://incessantdroningofaboredwriter.wordpress.com–The Incessant Droning of a Bored Writer

August 22 http://teenscanwritetoo.wordpress.com Teens Can Write Too! (We will be announcing the topic for next month’s chain)

Polls!

Here I have six lovely polls for you. Vote on every single one!

P.S. If you’re looking for the *NORMAL* post, it should be below this one on my website

 

Dress up!!!

*Sorry to my followers. It’s the end of the school year, and I have so many projects going on, it gets harder to blog by the day. Don’t worry, on June 13 school ends and you’ll have another non-ending stream of ME again :)*

 

Right now, your favorite teen psycho is wearing the best dress-up thing EVER: A cape! It’s the bestest cape ever, too because it’s red and has one of those things that are on the collars of vampire cloaks……

See? The thing on the neck????

I have no idea what it’s called, I don’t even know if it has a name. Okay. I’ll name it, we’ll call that from now on….uhhhh…..OBBLJOBS! Those are now forever, named OBBLJOBS!!! But I don’t like OBBLJOBS, so mine is folded down. Also, the best part, the VERY BEST part is how you go down the stairs and it swishes out from you! OHMYGOSHHH!! so very fun! Also, this also works if you go around a corner very fast and the cape whips around. I strongly advise you to go find your handy-dandy red cape, complete with an OBBLJOBS. (Vampire teeth optional) And try it. If you’re not lucky enough to have that, go buy one. And if all else fails, make your own. Get a blanket…oh, you should know how to do this. I’ll wait. Go do it. Seriously. And if anyone asks what in the world you are doing and you’re going to break something so go sit down blah blah blah….Tell them that the crocodile from Pac-Man did it, and he was really cool, so you are imitating him. This is a very effective strategy because:1. There is no crocodile from Pac-Man. 2. Your teller-offer will have to think about that one, so it leaves you to do your cape-swishing in peace. However, I am not responsible for any trouble you might get in for breaking something or whatever. That’s your fault. No saying, “Tomte told me to do it so ha its not my fault” because then you might get in more trouble for *talking back*. *Talking back* is a huge confusion to me, by the way because if you reply to anyone, like you say, “Hi!” and I say HI back, that’s talking back, if you think about it. Also, don’t try that on a parent either. More trouble. BUT, if you DO feel like some trouble would be good for you, then do everything I just mentioned.

Housekeeping

Spring brings housecleaning!!! And to do that, I’ve decided that this blog needs a new name. But, I have tried fruitlessly to think of a name, and it’s just not happening. So, I need suggestions from you all. So, if you have any ideas, leave a comment below.

Also, I’ve decided that Wednesday will be forever know as Wacky Question Wednesday. Basically, in English, that means that every Wednesday I will have a wacky question posted. (Hint: If you subscribe, you’ll instantly be able to reply to the question as soon as it’s published!) That will start THIS Wednesday. So stay tuned! I have got an absolutlely brilliant question to kick it off ( if I do say so myself)

And April TCWT blog. chain is just around the corner. Naturally, I have signed up, so do that if you haven’t already.

Does anyone know how to ice skate? I mean REALLY ice skate?

Okay. So, I am signed up for um, like this ice skating lesson thing. It’s on Monday. it’s actually almost time to leave. More later!

It’s the next day. Tuesday. Whoopee! (Technically I’m supposed to be doing homework, but that can wait. I don’t have much. Honestly.) So, yes I am signed up for ice skating and yada yada yada. So, of course Lucky Me, yours truly gets put in the class with all the 5-6-7 year old. Gosh, I’m like 5-7 years older than they are! (And no offense to them, but all but 3 stink at skating.) There’s another class, the PINK class, that is the super advanced class. I want to be in that class sooooo badly!

There was a sub. He was a show off. In my head I named him bragger 🙂

 

P.S. I’m gone for the weekend. But I have alot more stuff to write (me and my friend wrote it down in a notebook. Actually it was mainly her but oh well.)

So hopefully I can blog on Monday??? Tuesday??? (If you subscribe you’ll know when. Wink wink hint hint nudge nudge:) )