John Hansen | November 27, 2011 at 12:46 pm
I challenge you to write a humor story set in modern day London!
so, here goes. And, I don’t live in London, or anywhere near (U.S.) so this may not be correct! Let me know if it’s not so I can change it. 🙂
Once upon a time (well not technically once upon a time because it’s set in MODERN day London haha)
There was a pony named bob and a fish named squiggle. One day they went to Piccadilly Circus.
“I want to buy an iPhone” said Bob.
“Ok” said Squiggle.
But after looking all day they had found no iPhones.
“I’m hungry.” said Squiggle.
“Ok” said Bob.
So they bought some fish and chips.
“How can I eat this?!?!?!?!” said Squiggle. “I’m a fish! That would be like cannibalism. Only fish-style.”
“Oops, sorry,” said Bob.
So instead Bob kidnapped a hot dog person and refused to let him go until he gave Squiggle some hot dogs.
“Hey, this is pretty good!” said Squiggle. “Where’d ya get it? It tastes a lot better than my fish food.”
However Bob was rather reluctant to admit how he had gotten it.
“OH, MY, GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”Squiggle suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs. (Which wasn’t actually that loud.)
“IT’S SANTA CLAUS!!!!!!!!!!” screamed a random person.
There was a stampede. In the stampede Squiggle was stampeded to death.
“Where’s Bob the pony?” demanded Santa.
“OOH, OOH!!!! I’M RIGHT HERE SANTA!!!” screamed Bob. “I want an iPhone and a butterfly and a laptop and a HDTV and a recliner for (insert the holiday you celebrate here)!!!
“I don’t care,” said Santa, “I’m here to kidnap you.” And Santa kidnapped Bob.
“But what about my butterfly????” asked Bob.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
They landed in China.
“Where in the world are we?!?!?!?” asked Bob.
“Oh, we’re in China.” said Santa cheerily.
“OHMYGOSHWHATISTHATTHING??!?!?!?!?” yelled Bob.
As the thing came nearer Bob and Santa could see that it was an army, rushing full speed at them.
“What are they?” asked Santa.
“I think….”replied Bob, “I think they’re Cinnamon toast crunch Cereal!”
“How do we escape?” asked Santa.
“Start eating!” was Bob’s answer.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“OHHHHHH” said Bob.
“I’m SO FULL” said Santa.
“I’m a butterfly” said Bob.
“WHAT?!?!!” said Santa.
“Well, just look at me!” said Bob. “I’m a real, live butterfly!”
All Santa could manage was a WOWZA!.
“Hey, what’s that thing by your ear?” asked Santa.
“Huh—-what?” said Bob, swiveling his head.
I am Sqiuggle, I am here to haunt you for the rest of your days.
Bob’s jaw dropped.
Come with me, to the land of music
So Bob and Santa followed Squiggle, the ghost to the land of music.
It was actually pretty nice there.
Except for one thing……..can you guess what it was?
Inside The Junk Drawer 