Please, Help Make The World A Better Place.

In order to make the world a better place, please follow these rules. Your cooperation is appreciated.

  1. All of those commercials that, essentially, say, BUY THIS PRODUCT! are hereby outlawed. Anyone watching these commercials will be forced to watch one hour non-stop of the commercial. Anyone who buys something from these “TV retailers” will be forced to use the product for the rest of their life. Anyone selling a product will be sent to the TV Jail, where commercials like these are aired 24/7 and inmates are forced to watch them.
  2. Anyone on their cell phone while getting something from a service counter will be escorted from the premises.
  3. Commercials longer than a minute are banned.
  4. You can never have enough books and stuffed animals.
  5. Secondhand shops are only permitted to sell dresses, pants, shoes, and shirts.
  6. Anything that says “Now connect piece 20A to the tube near HXB5” are outlawed.
  7. Any copier that is jammed will shut itself down until it is fixed. It will also never mess up your printing. Anyone found messing with copiers will be found by the photocopier police and made to drink a cup of toner. (This hint was taken from I’m A Stranger Here Myself, by Bill Bryson.)
  8. Newscasters are now required to report at least 8 GOOD things that have happened, as well as the never-ending list of bad things.
  9. It is not allowed for the temperature to get over 110 degrees Farenheit. However, it can get as cold as -70 degrees.
  10. Everyone must have a pet.
  11. Mosquitos and ticks and horseflies are outlawed. Anyone who finds one of these creatures should put it in a plastic bag and take it to The Bug Center to have pros examine it.
  12. Radios are now easier to work. If your radio is hard to work, bring it to the seller and demand a full refund.
  13. Once a year, there is a parade in town with a one-man circus on a firetruck.
  14. Cash registers, when given the amount of cash the person has tendered, will automatically use its robot hand to pick out the correct change.
  15. All malls are now required to have paper maps people can take.
  16. There will be a person who knows the answers to the mysteries of life.
  17. Retailers will sell Packers merchandise all year in Minnesota.

Your cooperation has been appreciated. Please continue watching for Please, Help Make The World Better 2.

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3 thoughts on “Please, Help Make The World A Better Place.

  1. Hey tomte! I’ve been loving your Posts, keep it up! You might not remember me but this is Nerdygirl 98!! ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. Pingback: What does your path look like? « SCYogaGirl

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